Jackson Lewis

Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 09.15.15

* "We're going to the Jersey Shore, bitch!" This probably isn't the kind of marketing that Jackson Lewis had in mind when the firm announced it was going to be opening an office north of Seaside Heights. Associates, you better get ready for some very serious GTB (gym, tan, billable hours). [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA] * Kim Davis may be back to work at the Rowan County Clerk's Office in Kentucky, but that doesn't mean she's done with her fight to not do her job. She'll be suing Gov. Steve Beshear for failing to provide her with a religious accommodation. [Talking Points Memo] * Some progress has been made in the infamous "dancing baby" case thanks to a recent Ninth Circuit decision. As it turns out, "copyright law does not authorize thoughtless censorship of lawful speech.” Prince would've wanted it this way. [WSJ Law Blog] * Public interest problems: When you work in Biglaw, performing a high number of pro bono hours may keep you from "doing the amount or quality of billable that it takes to advance in the firm, because there's only 24 hours in the day." [Crain's Chicago Business] * Necrophilia is apparently still legal in several of our fine states, but a lawmaker in Massachusetts is trying to get a law on the books that would make sex with the dead illegal. It's already illegal for Massholes to have sex with animals, so it's only fair. [Metro]

By Staci Zaretsky
Animal Law

Non-Sequiturs: 02.05.14

* Randy Levine, president of the New York Yankees, has left Akin Gump’s dugout. He hopes to hit it out of the park and slide into his new home at Jackson Lewis. Please, no more baseball references. :( [Am Law Daily] * Thanks to Virginia, the electric chair may be making a comeback when drugs for lethal injection aren’t available. OMG, that’s so freakin’ lame. Bring back the breaking wheel or death by disembowelment. [Gawker] * A lawyer won’t have to pay an ex-law student $1M after making a hyperbolic challenge in a TV interview. Better luck reading the Leonard v. Pepsico case next time, pal. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * Protip: when you’ve been suspended for your “contemptuous attitude,” bragging that one of the judges who disciplined you thinks you’re “probably the best DUI lawyer” isn’t smart. [Santa Barbara Independent] * If you watch The Walking Dead, you’ve probably wondered if all of the killing was legal — because you’re a lawyer, and you can’t enjoy anything anymore. Here’s your answer, from a UC Hastings Law prof. [GQ] * If you’d like your chickens to live a life of luxury before you eat them and their eggs, then you’re going to love this law in California. If not, you can move to Missouri. See Elie squawk about it here. [ATL Redline] * Ian Whittle, a recent George Mason Law grad, took a break from watching the saddest Super Bowl ever to save a little girl from drowning in a pond. Check out the news coverage, after the jump. [CBS 6 WTVR]

By Staci Zaretsky
American Bar Association / ABA

Morning Docket: 07.16.13

* Since summer’s start, Patton Boggs has been leaking lawyers like a sieve. Thus far, 22 partners and 11 associates have defected from the firm to Holland & Knight, Jackson Lewis, Arent Fox, and WilmerHale. [Blog of Legal Times] * Considering the deadly force choke American health care reform legislation has supposedly put on employers, perhaps more lawyers ought to consider becoming Jedi masters of the Affordable Care Act. [Daily Business Review] * The new normal for the ivory tower: Law schools are tackling falling applications by “voluntarily” decreasing their class sizes, or by “voluntarily” offering faculty and staff buyouts. [Wall Street Journal] * But look on the bright side, professors, the ABA wants to amend its accreditation standards to save your jobs and offer greater protections. Too bad its unwilling to do the same for students. [ABA Journal] * If you’ve been swindling clients for long enough, the law school you donated money to will try to scrub your name off its walls. That is what’s happening now at IU-McKinney Law. [National Law Journal] * If you want to go to law school, you should base your ultimate decision on your financial future and job prospects. You may be very sorry if you don’t. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report] * Judge Tom Greenwell, the Texas jurist found dead in his chambers, RIP. [Corpus Christi Caller-Times]

By Staci Zaretsky
6th Circuit

Morning Docket: 08.08.12

* The Sixth Circuit delved into the question of law professors’ tenure in a recent decision, noting that it doesn’t guarantee a job for life. But seriously, why on earth would you want to have a lifetime career at Cooley Law anyway? [National Law Journal] * Was the Wisconsin Sikh temple shooting a hate crime? Well, the shooter was in a racist skinhead band and purchased supplies from a neo-Nazi group, if that gives you a clue. [Reuters] * Bet nobody saw this kind of douchebaggery happening: Jackson Lewis has been tapped to represent a member of Penn State’s board of trustees to appeal the NCAA’s unappealable sanctions, and he’s recruiting fellow trustees to join him. [Am Law Daily] * No more “no comment” for this former reporter: Bruce Brown, a partner at Baker Hostetler, was appointed as the new executive director of the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press. [Blog of Legal Times] * As expected, Jared Lee Loughner pleaded guilty in the Arizona shooting that killed six people and wounded 13 others. He’ll likely receive several life sentences as opposed to the death penalty. [Wall Street Journal] * “This sh*t ain’t no joke yo, I’m serious, people are gonna die like Aurora.” Twitter, please cooperate so the police don’t have to subpoena you when a user threatens to commit a massacre in NYC. [NBC New York]

By Staci Zaretsky
Conferences / Symposia

Quote of the Day: Keyword Searching? You’re Doing It Wrong

Keyword searching is absolutely terrible, in terms of statistical responsiveness. — Magistrate Judge Andrew Peck (S.D.N.Y.), in a panel today at the LegalTech conference. He spoke alongside Wachtell Lipton counsel Maura Grossman and Jackson Lewis partner Ralph Losey, on a panel that aimed to demystify cutting-edge, computer-assisted e-discovery technology. Peck is a vocal proponent of […]

By Christopher Danzig